Hurling out Confusions…

I keep on saying I’m okay, but am I really okay? This doesn’t sound like me at all. For some reason, I just can’t recognize myself anymore. I used to be so in touch with my feelings…with my emotions. But now, all of a sudden, I am overhauled to nothing but a confused emotions;mixed feelings. It’s like I think I feel happy, but am I really happy or am I just pretending? There are situations where I know I should feel hurt, but I just really don’t, is it martyrdom or am I just really numb now.I used to not have any problem communicating my thoughts and feelings, but right now, I’m mute and my heart is deaf.

I know where these things are coming from. But I’d like to make my way out of it. It is an unpleasant feeling, being aware that I am having these confusion and not knowing which steps to take to make my way out of it.

I was just a princess then,  having a good time with my prince. My prince loved me so much (atleast that’s what I believed), he cared for me, show and make me feel special that I can say I’m the luckiest girl in the world.He was just perfect for me. A very passionate lover, kind, humble,understanding prince, he was my protector. I just loved him so much. And then all of a sudden, all the beautiful moments turned into my worst nightmare. My prince became my destroyer. I ended up emotionally tortured, so distressed. He came out of his shell as someone arrogant, fault finder, insensitive, selfish and mean. His rudeness just knocked me off my feet and shut me out. He treated me so bad like I have never been treated before. He had the power to hurt me so much. He took everything from me and now I’m left with shattered dreams and broken heart. He left and I’m never the same again…

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3 thoughts on “Hurling out Confusions…

  1. Man, I wish I really knew what this was about so I could help you. All I can say is that sometimes being confused is a good thing. It makes us think about every option we have in order to organize the confusion and in doing so we come across thoughts and feelings we never knew existed. If you use those new thoughts and feelings to navigate through the confusion you’ll come out of the mess more impowered and stronger than before.

  2. Hi Megan,

    Thanks for your concern, as for now, I’m in a process of looking for a counselor…I guess I need one…I’ll take your advise and hope I can cope up soon…

    Take Care

    Crissy

  3. I remember being in the throes of this kind of emotion after the break up of a relationship I really cared about. I’m guessing that’s where you’re coming from? Anyway, I can relate to the feeling of confusion and of being whipsawed by someone’s becoming another person that you didn’t want to know existed but were unfortunate enough to find out in fact DID exist.

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